it feels as if i have nothing to show for my life. i am a looser in every sense of he word.
i wish i was blissfully ignorant of my sexuality.
I feel like Hamlet. like him i don't know what to do. i am at that pivotal cross road and i can't make a decision. soon it will be too late.
i wish i could just disappear.
I can relate.
ReplyDeleteI remember revisiting the same decision over and over again. I would decide and a few days (sometimes a few hours) later I would feel forced to re-review my options and decide over again.
I asked myself why I couldn't make up my mind. Why did I keep deciding to do something then a few days later find myself back where I started - having to reprocess it all again.
Then I realized that I had made up mind; the decision just couldn't stick because it wasn't the right decision for me.
I then picked the option that I had been fighting against for years and I was overcome by an overwhelming sense of peace.
My point...maybe you can't stick to the decision you keep making because deep inside you you know it is not the right decision for me.
Regards,
Philip
Depression is the common cold of mental illness. It is epidemic, but it is also treatable. I'm telling you this as someone who was suicidally depressed a few years ago. May I lovingly suggest that you talk to a professional who can help you with a plan to treat the depression?
ReplyDeleteHere's a site that you may find helpful:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.webmd.com/depression/default.htm
Ned,
ReplyDeletei just wanted to say thank you. I am now in search of a counselor.