after a few days of consideration i've concluded to find a counselor. i spent the last week looking. i think i may have found one. we are going to comm in a rather unconventional way via secured net link. but to be honest that doesn't bother me. it feels like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. i can finally speak to someone who will offer constructive criticism and/or an ear.
wed will be my first session.
i have been an increase in frequency of dreaming about male companionship. admittedly some of them are very sexually intense while others are just the comforting holding. I don't know what it means. i don't relish waking in the morning. i want them to last forever. There was one where i actually cried when i woke.
hmm, more things to add to the converstation
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